the epitome of girliness

Take a look at the order I just put in at Amazon:

1. "Girls' Poker Night: A Novel" Jill A. Davis>

And see that second item there?

Yup. I'm knocked up.

This is part of the reason I've been away. We've known for about a month now, but we're still so very early we're only telling the people it's too hard to hide it from, plus parents, of course. So Andi and Lisa know because we work in close quarters and it would be impossible to hide. Polly knows, because she guessed before I could tell her. Like I said, our parents know, and my brother, Derek knows, but not my older brother b/c I don't want to tell his kids yet.

And two business advisors know, because we have about 8 months to figure out how the hell I'm going to run this ship and create life at the same time. In fact, one of them knew before my mother did. Before I even confirmed it with a home pregnancy test.

And I told myself I wouldn't write about it here until we passed that magical 12 week mark, but let's face it: this is the most interesting thing I've had to talk about in months. No one wants to read anymore about work. I can't tell you all the crazy, hilarious stories about our Worst Client Ever, so there's not much else to say there.

And my marriage is fabulous, still have house projects, blah blah blah. I have very little drama to entertain you with. I'm not even angst-ridden about the upcoming debacle in the Gulf. I think this journal is about to become a dreaded Pregnancy Journal.

So here's your chance to scam if you want.

But really, I had to spill it because this experience is now woven into every other aspect of my life: we have to re-do the bathroom, landscape the backyard, get a new kitchen floor before the baby. We have to move the office (just found new space!), get a bunch of contracts in place, find a sales person to keep the machine moving, before the baby. We have to save some money, get better life insurance, buy a shit-load of kid crap, before the baby.

There's just no way I can talk about what's going on without talking about this. I know lots of journalers who did it successfully. They are simply much more compartmentalized in their thinking than I am.

I'll answer the FAQs:

I'm due 10/4/03. I'm 7 weeks today.

I will most likely have an epidural.

I think it's a girl, so does A*, but if it's a boy I will be thrilled. We will most likely find out before it's born.

There is no theme to our nursery because we won't have one. Our house is too small.

We have names and I'm not sharing them right now.

I feel fine, mostly. I feel shitty in the morning, and crappy until about 3, then dead tired at 6. No puking (knock on wood). I have it much easier than many women so I'm not complaining.

It happened the first try. I don't think I've ever talked about my perspective on birth control and fertility, so maybe I will some day. If you want to know more you can email me.

And, I guess I haven't said this yet, but we're completely thrilled. And terrified. And giddy. And ready for the first trimester to be over. And completely in awe of the fact that we're going to be parents. Have a baby. A squirming, howling bundle of pink flesh. That came from us.

- february 12