october 14

good monday morning

It's five to eight and I've been up for two hours. This has become a new routine for me. I get up, take a shower, make coffee, and clean up the kitchen from the night before, which is actually A's job but I worry less and less about such things these days.

I take a cup of coffee to A, who is still in bed, and he is incredibly grateful for this small gesture. When I first started doing this, sometime around his birthday, he just about cried and told me that it was the little things that mattered to him most. I'm not sure how we got through 10 years together without me catching on to that. Ah well. Better late than never.

I read email, check a few journals, although my real reason for being up this early is to get some work done. Sometimes that happens, sometimes it doesn't, it usually depends on what's due and when. Today I have several important things due, and I shouldn't be doing this, but I need to stop and think about myself and my life and look around and see what's going on, even if it's only for five minutes. Otherwise I'll go through the day feeling distracted and irritable. I've learned this.

I'm freezing because the back door is open and the crisp fall air is rushing through the house. I'm hoping our black cat will come home. She's been gone since yesterday afternoon. This is normal behavior for her, but since we lost Graycat a few weeks ago, I'm like an overprotective mother. Graycat just disappeared, without a trace. I have fantasies that the evil ex-neighbor stole her, so that she's at least alive and I can maybe get her back. But I know she's probably dead. Or stolen by a stranger and I'll never see her again. Even though these cats were supposed to be temporary until we found homes (and, ironically, we had just done that), we're really sad that she's not around. Especially her sister, Cowgirl, who is slowly adjusting.

I hear A* shaving with his electric razor. A signal that I'd better hurry if I want a ride to work.

Love and congratulations to Bo on her wedding this past weekend. May you enjoy all the joy and happiness you deserve.

- october 14