december 7

cry babies

For those of you who are die-hard union supporters just know that despite what I'm about to say, I am, too. My grandfather risked his life and livelihood in the 1930s and 40s in his efforts to organize mill workers and longshoremen. I believe he and his fellow union members contributed to the employment laws that mean hourly wage earners don't have to work 15 hour days for $2 an hour and that we are all protected from dangerous work conditions. I believe the union movement that took place at the middle of the last century is one of the events that makes this country great.

However, when I hear that the tongue-pierced, hair-dyed, slow-as-shit and sulking workers at a local natural foods grocery store want to organize because they don't like the new corporate daddy's uniforms I want to scream. That is not what my papa sacrificed for--so you could wear your dirty jeans and not have to wash your dreadlocks, or anything else for that matter.

I realize you, Young Grocery Worker, don't get paid a lot of money and don't have great benefits. You may even have a kid or two at home that you need to feed. And it sucks that your homegrown store got bought out by a corporate giant. I don't care for them much, either. But you have to understand that there are very narrow margins in the grocery business and that you are never going to get paid enough money to buy a Subaru Legacy outright and still have enough money left over for the Sleater-Kinney concert. Not unless you play their game and work your way up to management. But I suppose that isn't an option for you.

Now if you really can't hack this place go work for your former bosses that just opened their own chain. I'm going to take my business to them anyway. If you're worth the trouble and stench, they'll hire you back and pay you 25 cents an hour more and you won't have that raise that you're whining for eaten up by the pimps who probably haven't explained the concept of union dues to you.

Now if your ovens were a fire hazard, if your ladders were rickety, and you were left to bleed to death when you cut your hand open on some broken glass, I might get behind you. But you're never gonna convince me that you deserve union protection from your employer so you can wear what you want to wear, you fucking candy-ass asshole with a misplaced sense of entitlement. The only reason you don't make as much as your boss is because you don't have to listen to your own whining.

So there.

Hate mail here.

- december 7