march 8

Claude Shannon

The man who invented the theory of zeroes and ones, the foundation of modern communications, died last week.

I'd never heard of this man, Claude Shannon. I had never contemplated just how we got to zeroes and ones and what that theory meant to the generation of scientists who were working in the field of information transportation. I don't really need to know the details of Boolean theory; the network systems and applications I use make all that transparent to me, the user, as it should be.

But when I heard this man had died, I was suddenly saddened, like an admired leader or favorite movie star had died. This man whose ideas changed the path of human civilization was gone forever. And I was hearing about it a week later. It seemed as though we should have had live, international coverage of his funeral. The networks should be broadcasting documentary-style pieces detailing his discoveries, his rivals, his passions, the people he influenced.

I've always been in awe of people who have both a vision that will change the world and the dazzling intellect to realize that dream. Usually, they have some bizarre social defect that causes them to be loners or to have traumatic relationships with people. Or, they're just a head of their time and people don't understand them. Or, they're just the wrong sex. Take Rosalind Franklin, one of the scientists who worked on the search for the genetic blueprint. Rarely is she given full credit for the work she did in cracking the DNA code.

I've been thinking a lot about the quest for greatness lately, the same kind of thinking that runs along the lines of "What do I want to be when I grow up?" The job I have, as an interactive producer, is one that isn't well-defined across the industry. The requirements and excpectations of me have been vastly different everywhere I've worked. It's also an endangered position, given "current market conditions." I don't feel like I'm ready to leave the advertising/interactive agency world yet, but I might have to if things don't pick up around here. I can always go "client side," but it sounds so boring and I'm afraid I won't get either the autonomy--the freedom to run with good ideas-- or the mentoring--the guidance from an experienced professional--that I want.

I've also thought about how I don't really have any heros, someone to emulate. Well, in many ways I do. There are things about my parents, my husband, and my nanna that I try to emulate, in terms of their professional and personal accomplishments. There just isn't anyone outside of my family that I can look up to and say, "That's how I want to do it." This is where I start questioning: Am I in the wrong profession? Should I go into public service? Am I'm meant to make all my great accomplishments in my personal life, as a mom perhaps?

When the inner dialogue goes this way the ambitous part of me barges into the conversation and bellows about how I'm not working hard enough, going to enough professional meetings, making enough cold calls, reading enough industry news, on and on. And that's when I really want to know how women who are married manage to have fabulous careers and still find the time to nurture their relationships, work on their houses (they probably don't do that at all but hire out instead), see friends more than once a month, and still take care of their health and personal well-being.

Isn't this what all working women ask themselves? If we all have these questions, why the hell aren't there more answers?